fatman Find the clues!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Sign said: Long-haired, Freaky People Might As Well Apply

Our next port of call was Vilnius in Lithuania. We were going there for the same reason that most people go to Vilnius- so we can touch the head of Frank Zappa. The weirdo musician\producer was known for his eccentric songs (i.e. like ´Don´t Eat the Yellow Snow´ which is arguably one of the best advice you could ever receive in song form), his expertise in the synclavier, his brief stint as a cultural attaché for Czechoslovakia and strange taste in the naming of his children (Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan , and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.) which probably goes to show you shouldn't take acid while your wife gives birth. He was the epitome of the 60s. Although his body resides in an unmarked grave known only to his fans a statue of his head can be found in Vilnius thanks to the Lithuanian Frank Zappa Appreciation Society. Why would a bunch of people erect a statue of a rock star who had never even set foot in Lithuania? When you spend years under a Communist regime anything seems like a good idea I guess. And nothing says "anti-establishment" like Frank Zappa.

We ask Jules, a dreadlocked Maori who was sitting behind the desk in reception, if it was worth it. ´Yeah, it´s well worth having a look at if you go to Vilnius. But its not located in the town square or anything. Its just in a parking lot off a street in the middle of nowhere. Easy to miss.´
´So the statue is just in some parking lot? Wow. I think that´s what that Irish guy was saying.´
´Which Irish guy?´ There were a few Irish people staying at the hostel.
´John I think his name was.´
´Oh him. Yeah he´s the manager here.´
´He´s the manager? I thought he was just a foul-mouthed Irish guy who stood at the front of the building smoking and swearing at tourists.´
´He´s the manager. I manage the other Backpackers. I just came in to chat and the others went off to lunch. Leaving me on my own.´
´So, who actually works here?´ I query.
´Uuuh...there´s Owen the bearded Welsh guy. But he´s leaving tonight. And there´s Jeanine...´
´She´s staff?´
Jules laughs. ´It might not seem it but yeah she´s staff. At least for now. She´s off to Riga. Or supposed to be. She´s missed her bus and so she´s getting another one tonight as well.´
´So no one actually works here.´
´There´s John and Hector. That´s it at the moment. Did you guys want a job? I think they might be looking for people.´

It was certainly tempting. But I had a girlfriend in Australia who was waiting for me. And I could hear Frank Zappa calling my name. It would be Vilnius then. Vilnius would be my destination. At least for now.


Blogger The Production Manager said...

I'm envious, I want to touch Frank Zappa's hair!

8:26 am  
Blogger Fatman said...

Yeah. Frank is cool. It probably meant a lot more to Nik, my travelling companion, since his Dad was a big Zappa fan (sadly his father´s collection of Frank Zappa records got incinerated when his house burned down). My one regret for this trip is that we didn´t get to see Rasputin´s penis, floating in formaldehyde, whilst in St.Petersburg.

9:03 am  
Anonymous kristy said...

ok. im slow and blond.

you have a girlfriend?

5:59 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

Had. Had a girlfriend. I´m about two weeks behind in these updates. I´m slowly working up to why I´m currently working at an Estonian Backpackers instead of being in Melbourne (I´d have arrived today incidentally). There was an argument. Words were said that shouldn´t have been..... It´s a strange relationship. Though we have technically broken up it still feels like we´re dating.

8:53 pm  
Blogger Yawn said...

Synclavier. Too normal looking. A Theremin would kick its ass in a fistfight outside an inner-city Houston immigrant bar (90% Mexican illegal men, 90% Central American illegal prostitutes, 10% Russian men drinking after hours, 10% illegal Mexican prostitutes.)

I hate Houston. That's why I'm glad I don't live there- cuz I hate it. And I hate the people there.

More importantly, if you're in the neighborhood and you DON'T see Rasputin's penis, it's like going to Kansas City and somehow missing al the shitty plastic artwork that adorns the place. A better analogy would be going to New York and somehow bypassing Manhattan, the Statue of Liberty, and anything else you might see on Seinfeld reruns. But different, cuz a 12 inch cock is a 12 inch cock. It's a wonder of the modern world.

Shame on you!

4:54 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

Quick mental image for you Yawn: Frank Zappa. Atop the Statue of Liberty. Playing the synclavier...with Rasputin´s penis. That my friend is pure art.

7:02 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home