fatman Find the clues!

Friday, September 29, 2006

Contemplating a U-Turn

The janitor in my head gets up from the hammock he sleeps in, coughs up some phlegm and takes a swig from his hip flask, ready to perform his daily chores. He ambles down the corridors of my mind with a mop and bucket, unhurried. He has the whole day to complete his tasks after all. The janitor sweeps the floor, clearing away junk such as foreign words learnt at a bar, names of people I spoke to for an hour, where I left my keys last night, promises I was never going to keep anyway and a phone number or two. Whistling tunelessly he blows the dust from an embarrassing childhood memory -we´ll keep that for a later date- and tries vainly to put the polish back on to a song I heard on the radio years ago. He then comes across a new object, made of marble. It is a thought that wasn´t there a few days ago. It says: WORK IN AN ESTONIAN BACKPACKERS YOU FOOL!

My body is heading through Latvia but my thoughts are chanting the same things over and over. Go back to Estonia. Go back to Tallinn. Do it. Do it. Do it. Head back now. My eyes aren´t focusing on the landscape at all. Nik and I had managed to hitch a ride with a Polish couple we met a few nights ago. Neither of us can remember their names. Which is a pity because they are very likable but this far into the journey it would be rude to ask them. They are playing a Bollywood soundtrack in the car since they both acted in a Bollywood film when they lived in India. Go back to Estonia. Go back to Tallinn. Turn back. Do it.

We were talking to John the Irish guy in a strange downstairs bar called Juuksur, which means ´hairdresser´ in Estonian, the night before. It is in a cave-like basement and has those 50s era hairdresser chairs and music that costs 50 eek to listen to. ´This isn´t usual lads,´ says John, ´so I´ll buy you the first round of beer.´ Like all foul-mouthed Irish people he is impossible to dislike. At this stage of the night Nik and I were still waiting for the Polish couple to come back on a ferry from Helsinki so we could head to Vilnius. They are half an hour late. Maybe a tidal wave swallowed them?

We talk for some time and say cheers in Estonian a lot. Terribi...something or rather. I feel like I´ve wandered on to the set of a TV show halfway through the third series. All the characters seem well established. We are introduced to a succession of people by John. There´s Ben the eccentric English programmer-type who is working on an internet map. There´s a long-haired Estonian who looks like a drug runner or a grave digger. Maybe both. There is a crazy, wild Swedish guy who is somehow involved in bringing a Japanese all girl punk band to Tallinn. So many characters. So many plots.

The channel suddenly switches and I´m in the car again.


Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

So that's why my sitemeter showed someone in Estonia linking from your blog. Travel is all very well, but you need a mission rather than just wandering about aimlessly. There must be some famous monument you could light a candle on, or a big-bosomed woman whose feet you could kiss.

7:44 pm  
Blogger Yawn said...

I think the mission should be deviant, illegal, and possibly life-threatening sex acts brought on by deviant, illegal, and possibly life-threatening drug use. There's an ultimate pleasure out there under certain conditions: I nominate the Fatman to find that ultimate pleasure, or at least write about all the fun he has trying.

5:30 am  

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