fatman Find the clues!

Friday, May 30, 2003

Prisoner of Route 57

Most of you don't know Josh. A gifted, yet eccentric lad, a graphic arts-type dude who has recently quit a high paid job for Urchin Graphics (they do catalogue work for surf companies and the like) to concentrate on his artwork. Now don't knock this. His "art", to an uncouth cretin like yours truly, looks more like stick figures engaging in pseudo-philosophical conversation. This one piece- on A4 paper, fetched for around $800. I'm getting to the point...

Caught up with Josh today, just bumming around North Melbourne (him, not me). Claims he wanted to see the sights and sounds of N.M. That, I believe, was his first mistake. You don't walk or drive to the hood- you gotta tram it.

The infamous Tram 57- the West Maribinong (sp?) is something you have to ride to get the full appreciation of it. Just the other day I took it to go to the city. There's that fat, smelly guy who always seems to be on it. His lard arse takes up two seats, which is a bit of an inconvenience- but not so much as the putrid stench that surrounds him. Passengers around him hold their breaths and, I shit you not, the smell lingers in your clothing for days on end. It reminds me of that episode in Seinfeld where that car attendant leaves his odour in the car. Easier to burn your clothes that to try to get the smell out.

Now if you aren't on heroin or methodone you tend to feel a little left out, but let us eavesdrop on an actual conversation that happened not long ago.
Junkie Ex-Con:(sluggishly) Boy, I'm really enjoying my freedom. It's been 12 months.
Girl next to him: Really? Where have you been?
Junkie :Jail.
Girl: Oh, what were you in for? Trafficking? Murder?
Junkie: Heh, heh. Nah. (spaces out)
Girl: No, It wouldn't be murder. You'd still be inside.
Junkie: It was Assault.
Girl: Oh.
Junkie: Yeah. I Assaulted a mate.
Girl: That's no good.(cheerfully) So, are you guys friends again..or..
Junkie: Naww. I assaulted him with a deadly weapon.

Any closure on this dialogue was interrupted by Bourke street when everyone got off. But you get the general idea. And that was about it for the day. Josh went to the Vic Market ( 'I tend to avoid it usually. I get too tempted to walk out of there with a sombrero or a huge, novelty moustache. Or a large box of qumquats.') and I finished my washing.

Next Week: Haze gets evicted!

Push the Tempo,


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