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Thursday, March 25, 2004

Several Hours to Go Before Take Off

It's the last night in Bangkok. I'm sitting at the 'Blue Wave' bar where Jenks and I have spent many sober hours getting drunk and many drunken nights getting into trouble. I'm sitting there minding my own business..for a change, drinking the remnants of a bottle of Canadian Club that Jenks had the foresight to buy a few days ago (The night prior to us departing to Pattaya for their annual music festival). Next to me is an American army captain named Stu who will be bound for New York, New York in a day or so. We're making polite 'I don't really care what happens to you after you step outside'-type of conversation when he asks what it has been like in the week that I've been here.
Well. Let's see....
Wednesday night. It was at this very bar where Free Beer's brother, Roscoe, was explaining to me about the humble pleasures of monkey boxing, an event held at the zoo after 'lights out'. Not too far from Ross was his friend Arthur- first time out of Australia and first time that he was happily getting fondled by what (at first) he thought was a woman. He couldn't figure out why we were laughing so hard. Much, much later when some thoughtless person informed him that his new 'friend' was a lady-boy, the colour drained from his face at astonishing speed. Arthur, subtle boy that he is, asked the very next woman to approach him if she was born a member of the male species.
I've been to a snake farm where psychotic Thai gentlemen jump around on stage avoiding the venomous bites of cobras. I've seen bored looking strippers produce a variety of things from.....inside of themselves. Ping pongs, flowers on a string, coca-cola. One woman- a Bond villainess in the making- could actually pop a balloon from a distance of several feet using only darts powered by....well, you know. We've been to Ripley's 'Believe it or Not' Museum and seen some amazing sights. I've eaten a scorpion. Just so you know, it does kinda taste like chicken. Crunchy too.
The hours are slipping by and the C.C. is well on the way to being finished. Three hours into the future, Jenks will be waking me up and giving me a cup of coffee. An hour after that I'll be begging some German tourists for 200 baht for the Thai 'departure tax'. But in the here and now I am declining the offer of shaking the hands of a 'woman'
'At least she's a pretty girl.' says Stu.
I look at him blankly.
'You're still very new to this aren't you?'
It's getting late in this foreign city. I finish up my drink and leave.


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