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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

42 Cambodian Midgets, a Lion and Jar Jar

'Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause even if it did I wouldn't eat the filthy mother f-cker.'
Jedi Master Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson)

Hoops has this demented obsession with midgets. Specifically midget wrestlers. So it came as no great surprise when I received this in my in-box. Yup. It's that story that apparently answers the 'age old question' of who would win in a fight- 42 Cambodian midgets or an African Lion?
It ain't the midgets.
At the end of the massacre and with many many dead/ dying midgets my thoughts turned, naturally, to the latest Star Wars movie.

The newest offering from the Ewok-like George Lucas had the Jedi council playing the part of the 42 Cambodian midgets with the Emperor being the Lion. I had gone to see the film on Sunday with the sole purpose of seeing Jar Jar Binks get killed in some way.( I know of families out there who stay together only because of their mutual hatred of Jar Jar. That hatred is binding. It is Velcro. It is the cement foundation with the bodies of Mafia informants entombed above an apartment block. Solid. Unmovable. I digress.) I was bitterly, bitterly disappointed (Re- Death of Jar Jar. The actual film was pretty good ).

You knew that the Jedi were screwed when they started recruiting coneheads to their group. Even Mace 'Hand me my lightsaber...it's the one that says, 'Bad Motherf-cker'' Windu, a tough hombre, was going to get his arse kicked. We've known from 1977 that Jedis were going to be wiped out by the Sith. Which some might find comforting. The circle is complete.Ouroboros. The series of films had been getting gradualy less and less likable anyway and I'm just glad it ended well (ie. with the death of most of the good guys).

Frickin' Jar Jar,


Blogger Fatman said...

Just for the record the 42 midgets v. Lion is a hoax. Look up http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/lionmidget.asp for more info. Still, let's not have truth get in the way of a good story.

3:14 pm  

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