Shopping with Stacia

I feel an F.Gump quote coming on. Something like ;
'Shopping with Stacia is lahke a box of choc-lits. You
never know what you're going tuh get.'- I now know
that it is actually possible to attempt to buy a dvd
player and end up with organic cereal and a bottle of
olive oil.

Stacia is my ex-housemate of some years ago (Yes-
THAT house where I became the Red-Headed Stepchild of
Telstra) and is possessed with a personality that is
much like a stampede of cattle or , say, a viking
horde. She has wild hair and her arms flail about
wildly when she tells a story. She is forever losing
keys and running late for work making everyday events
into little adventures where the outcome is uncertain.
A whirlwind of energy. Easily distracted.

We all know the story of 'Jack and the Beanstalk.'
Jack (a naive simpleton plagued with a slew of
behavioural problems) is given some dough to buy a
cow- a relatively straightforward task. On returning
home Jack's family ,who are expecting to see some kind
of cow-like animal, are a tad bewildered to learn of
Jack's rather interesting on-the-spot decision to
purchase some magic beans. They then take turns to
thrash Jack to within an inch of his miserable life.
Well going to buy anything with Stacia is kind of like
going shopping with Jack.

Stash gets distracted thus....'Hmmm, I don't know.
All the dvd players are a bit expensive (we wander
into Target- a store designed for people like Stacia/
Jack/ Robin Williams). Hey! Look at the make-up kit.
So cheap! Should I buy the make-up kit? (Me: No) I
guess I don't really need it. But I do need a c.d.rack
(Me: Not today you don't). How about a lamp? (Me: For
f-cks sake! No!) O.k, o.k. But let's buy some organic
cereal. It's really yummy and comes in a
Hessian-bag-sort-of-thing(Me: Fine. Whatever). And
some olive oil. I forgot to buy olive oil when I went
shopping earlier today (Me:.......). Ooooh. I need a
saucepan. I always burn things in the saucepans at
home (Me: Please, can we not buy a saucepan today?) I
suppose. Hey look! A dvd player!'

Shop till you drop,
Fatman.