fatman Find the clues!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Like a Bull in a Chinatown

The prospect of eating dumplings in a Chinese restaurant that has been forced to close 10 times in as many years is not that appealing....and yet here I sit opposite Megs waiting to order. She had been deliberately vague on the details of the hows and whys of the restaurant's many, many closures so I'm guessing things like; kitchen fires, rat infestations, a mild outbreak of the plague, discovery of child labour at the back, gang war, a renegade squid that managed to take some staff hostage, owners being jailed, shredded bits of surfer found in the shark fin soup, etc. that may have led to the annual closing of this unnamed restaurant.

______ Restaurant is one of the many eateries that grow down the alleyways in Melbourne's Chinatown. Apart from the fact that it doesn't have the usual row of ducks hanging at the front window to tempt in passersby it's pretty much like all the other cheap Chinese restaurants that litter the area (i.e., spelling errors on the battered menu, waiters who try to avoid you for as long as possible, endless cups of free tea). We risked, if not life and limb, maybe a mild bruising to get here as we nearly got run down by a bike courier who was going too fast down the narrow alleyway (which was about a bike courier in width) on the way. How he avoided us I'll never know.

It was good to see so many people braving the prospect of dysentery to enjoy a meal on a Tuesday afternoon. When the waitress eventually got to us we ordered. Megs ordered two different kinds of dumplings (the beef and the vegetable & pork) while I perused the menu. 'I like the look of number 86 on the menu ( how do you pronounce it in Cantonese?) the NOT AVAILABLE thank you.' The waitress sighed and then went to place the orders in the kitchen.

The meal is a celebration of sorts. Not one hour ago Megs and I had caught up at Southbank. We were discussing the upcoming International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19th) when talk moved to the subject of housemate Micah leaving the abode.

Me: Yaarrrrgg! We be gettin' rid of that scurvey dog Micah. He don't have enough booty to stay aboard the ship.
(Trans: Unfortunately Micah has to move out of the house because rent's a little steep for him at the moment.)
Megs: Yaaaarggg. That be fortuitous as I be looking to board a vessel not unlike yorn in these upcoming months.
(Trans: Really? What a freaky coincidence. I'm thinking about moving closer into the city and North Melbourne would be perfect.)
(Trans: Egad! Some silly fellow has accidentally spilled coffee all over my back! It burns, it burns!)

The meals arrive. I'm rather peckish. Not having to worry about the housemate thing is helping my apetite. Hey, you know what? It's not that bad at all!

Just add water,


Anonymous Michael Hart said...

I could have sworn dysentery had two esses, I'll blame it on being a seppo. Nice space, directed here from Being Jennifer Garrett, which I must say sounds like a sweet gig.

thats me
thats all

4:31 am  
Blogger Fatman said...

Hey Michael. I'm pretty durn sure it's "dysentery" with one "s". Though feel free to disagree- if I had a dime for every word I misspelt I'd be a milionair.


p.s. For those of y'all who don't know who Jennifer Garrett is check out her blog where she tries to read a 100 blogs in a hundred days.

4:30 pm  

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