fatman Find the clues!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Ignoring is Bliss

Meg has recently discovered that I do not listen to a word she says. The fact that I can sleep with my eyes open with a look of sincere interest on my face has recently dawned on her and she throws more and more "curve balls" into her sentences to catch me out.

(Scene: IN LOUNGE ROOM. MEG has been talking for over an hour. FATMAN is apparently engrossed in a book- a dead giveaway that he has no intention of listening WHATSOEVER as he does not know how to read)

Meg:....and it kinda depresses me that my boyfriend has only been working for a week and he already has more money than me in the bank.

Fatman: Uh-huh.

Meg: What are you doing later today? We're going to a bbq at a friend's place.

Fatman: Really? (flips page)

Meg: Yeah. He's cool. But a bit of a geek. A whole lot of geek actually. At school, the geeks used to beat him up. That's how geeky he was. Imagine having to give your lunch money over to the chess club.

Fatman: That's nice.

Meg: (tweaks that Fatman is no longer listening) Yep. I've just downed a whole litre of Hydrofluoric acid. It should be kicking in any minute now.

Fatman: Uh-huh.

Meg: I'm thinking of hacking off my hand and replacing it with a chainsaw. It'll be a good way to combat Evil.

Fatman: Hmmmmmm. (flips page)

Meg:(absently) Hey, it says in the news that someone ate the biggest bowl of chilli con carne this week.

Fatman: (snapping out of it) Who?

You have my whole undivided attention starting right........now,


Blogger Gaijin Girl said...

I guess you've already heard about this guy - Japan's national treasure.

Thought it might get your attention though.

5:32 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

Yeah, Kobayashi is pretty amazing. Have you ever seen a picture of the guy? Very skinny individual. Most of his fellow competitors look like truckers or lumberjacks and yet he still kicks their butt.

5:57 pm  
Blogger DelorumRex said...

HEy!.. I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!

Love your blog.. some Flippin Aussie named Kenerdly sent me.. it was a mighty quest, but after fighting the evil Nija Alpacas and other nasty things I finaly made it.

Some of the things you wrote, made me think that you were spying on me.. like the whole not listening post.. are you with the NSA?

HEad Llama and Alpaca Foe

10:46 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ignoring is bliss...you've just coined the basis of any substantially long relationship

ps im having emerald withdrawals. how sad is that!

11:38 am  
Blogger Fatman said...

Delorumrex- Yup. I'm with the NSA. The bored, lazy, unsuccesful moron is a facade I maintain on a 24-7 basis. Deep, deep undecover.

( I will check out your blogsite eventually but I've yet to do my Christmas shopping. Remind me later. And tell Kenerdly to shove his....no, I'll probably hear from him before you. I'll do it myself)

Anonymous- Emerald withdrawls eh? That rat-infested, mouldy-couched hell hole....I mean "wonderful venue" misses you too. Whoever you are...

3:20 pm  
Blogger DelorumRex said...

it's always them bored, fat, lazy bastards that you gotta watch out for.

Be well.. cause I ain't

ps please stopp stealihng my garden gnomes. (no not you but the NSA.. I think that they are stealing them and interrogating them in a black prison somwhere in the mountians of LowerSlobobia.. )

12:52 am  
Blogger Fatman said...

My (shudder) friend Free Beer has , I kid you not, a Grand Unifying Theory of Gnomes. He will eagerly talk for hours on how garden gnomes were behind the JFK assasination, The Spanish Civil War, the Black Plague and muppets. I'm sure he'd say that perhaps the gnomes were NSA agents.

11:48 am  

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