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Thursday, December 29, 2005

Tell Grimlock About Petro-Rabbits Again

2005. The world is still picking up the debris from the Boxing Day Tsunami, New Orleans has been flooded, Decepticons rule the planet Cybertron, Russel Crowe is fined for hurling a phone at a rude concierge, Aussies lost the cricket to the wimpy English, several of our countrymen are residents of overseas prisons/ have been executed and are now a pile of ash in an urn somewhere due to places like Bali/ Singapore having stringent drug laws that discourage us from bringing boogie boards stuffed with drugs. Terrorists are apparently everywhere (Though a harsh reality in certain countries in the Middle East or Ireland the attacks on the Western world are rare. Every once in a while, places like London get bombed and police retaliate by peppering a Brazilian man with bullets. Five bullets. To the head) Chicken Schnitzels are now potentially lethal thanks to the Avian Bird Flu.

Yup. It's been quite a year folks. Though the world has shifted and changed for better or for worse (arguably worse- that f-cking Crazy Frog has released another single) I feel that it has affected me little. I'm a year older but none the wiser. At around this time of the year I think of all those people I've outlived and so I'll offer a quick "Breakfast for My Dead Homies" to the following heroes and villains who will never have to wonder what cereal to buy ever again:

Hunter S. Thompson- Gonzo Journalist
Mr. Miyagi- guru, mentor, sensei, poet, chopstick maestro
Graham Kennedy
Big Kev- the EXCITED seller of shoddy merchandise
John Spencer (not from the Blues Explosion)
Rene Rivkin-Disgraced stockbroker
The Pope- replaced by a German fellow
King Kong- a 25-foot ape
Saul Bellow- Winner of Nobel Peace Prize for Literature
Vincent Schiavelli
Kerry Packer

(And a few I'd forgot but was reminded when I was reading Obi Won Kenardly's blog)

Bob Denver- Gilligaaaaaaaan!
Richard Pryor
Don Adams- Would you believe....that Maxwell Smart is dead?

And I bid y'all a Vaya Con Dios till next year (in a day or two). Stay safe people. Avoid disease-packed chicken for lunch.



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