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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Why You Should Never Ask Guys For Advice. Ever.

Andrew Armadillo, at the bar, asked a bunch of us what he should say his worst qualities were, if asked at the job interview he was going to tomorrow.
' Tell them your worst qualities are that you never tip waiters.'
'Tell 'em you steal office furniture.'
'You like hurting animals.'
'You're addicted to crack.'
'You're ugly as sin.'
'You see dead people.'
'You touch up little boys.'
'You stalk women.'
'You molest clowns.'
'ENOUGH!' yelled the exasperated Andrew.

7 Comments:

Blogger Gaijin Girl said...

Yeah, but clowns deserve it. Hate clowns. They scare me.

12:42 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

For the rest of you suffering from crippling coulrophobia (an irrational fear of clowns) you may want to check out this here site here. Hey, anyone see the Family Guy episode when we see a flashback to Peter's childhood and that zany teacher (Mr.Vargas) does an autopsy of a clown in class and he finds his insides stuffed with candy? That made me laff.

3:33 pm  
Blogger Yawn said...

I see nothing wrong with using these comments in a job interview.

1:12 am  
Blogger Yawn said...

I also wear a fine whiskey perfume around my mouth when I interview for employment.

1:13 am  
Blogger Fatman said...

Good to know Yawn. If the guy interviewing me for a job smells of whiskey/ has bloodshot eyes/ staggers about, knocking over lamps from his desk/ vomits mid-way through a question etc- that doesn't spell "drunkard" to me. It means that this man will get to work no matter how long he's been out the night previously. It means he's dedicated to the company. It means he is a proffesional.

11:45 am  
Blogger Yawn said...

jovFatman- you have a bounty on your head.

2:23 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

You think you know a guy...well, as much as you CAN know someone who works for a Machiavellian secret agency, and they put a goddamn BOUNTY on your head?!? You have no idea who you're messing with pal- I've been evading debt collectors since the first Batman movie. The really camp one with the anti-shark spray.

10:50 am  

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