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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Death By Bolo Yeung?

The potential last day of my work was......a bit uneventful really. Here I was coming up with elaborate excuses that involved evil twins and red kryptonite to avoid being the subject of a brutal sacking but when I rocked into see "Roy" the bar owner he was too busy trying to get the email to work to pay much attention. "Bernie" (the manager of Gambit bar/ electrician/ janitor/ hitman) and I just explained to "Roy" that there's going to be a comedy event at the Amethyst and it's too late to back out of it. "Roy" looked up from the computer. No yelling. No objects thrown at our heads. No hidden buttons that would summon a Bolo Yeung-type Chinese behemoth to come out to rip out our organs and play yo-yo with our intestines. He just shrugged and said 'Okay.'

Anti-climactic to say the least,
Fatman

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

check this out!
http://www.whoomp.com/articles/163/1/He-Man-does-4-non-blondes

3:08 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

Thank you kind stranger. A very restrained performance from Skeletor who usually hogs the mic. Also, it makes me wonder if He-Man ever looks at pictures from the 80's and think, 'Why did I ever agree to have a hair cut like THAT?'

5:53 pm  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Bolo is vastly underrated as a serious dramatic actor. Remember that Shakespearan adaptation where he crushes Hamlet's head with his thighs? Neither do I. Still, quite moving, I'm sure.

Anyway, glad to hear you'll be around to drink beer and unimpress women for a while longer, Fats.

7:55 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

I'm glad you brought up Bolo Yeung's acting ability Broadzilla. Too often we just think of him as a bad guy who crushes walnuts with his bare hands and beats up terrified villagers till a Jackie Chan-type kung fu expert wanders in and finishes him off. Bolo is an actor of great range and uncharacteristic gravitas. I was moved by his portrayal of Professor Henry Higgins in the Chinese adaption of My Fair Lady (Titled: Man Who Teaches Peasant Girl How To Read). Mr.Yeung's version of Citizen Kane was far superior in comparison to Orson Welles' lackluster fare. And who can forget Bolo Yeung's performance in the Chinese version of It's A Wonderful Life?

3:35 am  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Yah, I almost broke my neck driving past one of those new posters for Pride & Prejudice - starring Bolo and that Macfadyen guy - that are popping up all over my 'hood. Bolo must look ravishing in a bonnet!

(Y'know - it's a good thing Google has that Chinese censorship thing going on, because if Bolo ever decides to do a search on his own name, we could be in for a world of hurt.)

12:30 am  

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