fatman Find the clues!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Groundhog Day and I'm Feeling Repetitive

It's Groundhog day today. Tradition has it that if Bill Murray sees his own shadow there will be six more weeks of having that dream where you're making slide projections for a biscuit company and you suddenly discover you're not wearing any pants. Although it's more a tradition observed in the Americas, where people listen to ground-dwelling rodents about the state of the weather rather than high-tech satellite equipment, it's given me time to dwell on the repetitive nature on my life thus far.

Apart from starting to learn Russian this Saturday for my upcoming Trans-Siberian trip things have been a tad monotonous of late. Having a quick scan of my last dozen or so posts I see that my musings have a well worn groove- it is following a John Grisham-esque formulaic routine. This tends to be because I lurch at the computer every 3-4 days to write not because I have anything particularly interesting to say but because if I don't I'll forget how to do basic stuff like linking and turning on the computer without setting it on fire.

How I Approach Blogs:

1. Take pills to stop the inanimate objects talking to me and making me do weird things.

2. Turn on computer.

3. Put out fire that has somehow started on the computer.

4. Gaze at screen for half an hour.

5. Check emails.

6. Go back to "writing"

7. Think of what happened the last time I went drinking. Embellish.

8. Write venomously how only three people every read me, one of them being my mother (this is something I think everyone does at least once in their blogging career. It's almost a must. Anytime anyone deviates from the number of people reading (3) or the family member reading it (Mum) the humour seems to be less effective. If you bitch about how the only people read your blog is 14 guys and an estranged uncle it seems less funny. 43% less funny in fact based on a number I just pulled out of the air)

9. Link to Wikipedia a few random words just for the sake of it.

10. Remember a funny t-shirt that you saw someone wear (i.e. 'I f-cked the Olsen twins before they were famous') and put that in the post somewhere to claim as your own.

11. Add a jpeg of said comment.

Mary-Kate and Ashley today


I think maybe I should stop taking the prescribed pills. Maybe the inanimate objects have something important to say.

Wondering what penguins taste like,


Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude ur blog is awesome......those girls are HOTTTTT

2:11 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

Yup. Hard to believe they hate Jews.

2:19 pm  
Blogger Hamish said...

Most people would have just stuck to the pedophilia theme for #11, but throwing anti-semitism in there as well? Bravo, Fatman, I continue to be in awe of you. [slow clap]

5:25 am  
Anonymous skar said...

Penguins taste like chicken. Not unlike the twins above.

3:29 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

Hamish- Thanks for the compliment but the subject sort of wrote itself.

Skar- Been trying to catch me a penguin for a while but they waddle away too quickly. Dang varmints!

Also- Does anyone actually know who the jpeg of the twins actually are? I'll give a chicken mcnugget to the first person who can get it right.

11:21 am  
Anonymous skar said...

They go by the name of
Prussian Blue

3:41 pm  
Blogger Fatman said...

Ding ding ding! There's a chicken mcnugget on the way to Wyoming Skar.

4:38 pm  
Blogger star said...

bah! spare wyoming your formed irish chickeny thing. fortunately, skar has yet to soil the great state. besides, cattle everywhere might feel their job security is being threatened by said chicken.

12:30 am  
Blogger Fatman said...

(To find out what the Heck we're talking about check out Drunken Goat Bukkake- one of the funniest site names in History)Star- have decided to invest the money for the chicken mcnugget in other worthwhile causes. The Wyoming cattle need not worry....for now.

3:27 am  

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