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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Fat Rambling

A Brief Note For Those Who Came In Late
by Fatman

Boredom has and always will be my constant companion. I started the 'Fat-a-grams' not because I thought I had anything worth saying, but because when anything did eventually happen, I had to tell the same story over and over again. And, just like a comedian who is tired of his own jokes, with each telling I would omit details, change others and even forget how they would end creating a room of silent embarrassment, save for a muffled cough or two.

There now exists a bit more of a formal archive of my non-adventures at www.fatramblings.blogspot.com. thanks to a Mr.Rupert Sherwood who thought it best to unleash my banality to the world. He even kept the titles, some of which I was extremely proud of. Many, many others I wish I could drive a DeLorean in to the past and change (Like the e-mail I sent where there's a warning label on a chainsaw telling buyers not to stop the blades with their scrotum. I always wished I'd called that one 'Testis Chainsaw Massacre'. But I digress...)

I'd always hoped that someone else occupied my brain, a better writer. I feel like I've been ill-equipped, mentally and physically, to chronically my stupidity. I'm not suited to the job: like a hostage negotiator with Tourette's Syndrome, and you guys are the people in the bank vault staring into balaclava'd men with sub-machine guns, not knowing how the day will turn out, praying for me to shut the f-ck up.

Nevertheless, what's done is done. Check out the site if you're having a slow day. Recommend it to people who may be feeling miserable. Their wives left them, their job sucks, nothing seems to be going right. Call them from the window ledge they are thinking of jumping off and show them some stories so they can see that their life ain't as idiotic as mine. Hopefully it may even make them smile.



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