Will Dance For Food
Have you ever had one of these surreal phone calls that you instantly know in your heart was the sole reason that you got up that day? I'm bumming around the Amethyst Bar because of the free coffee when Amy the day girl receives The Call. After listening to the voice on the other end for some time she puts the receiver down and walks over. 'There's a guy on the phone wanting to know if we'd like to hire him as our resident tap dancer. Apparently he's tap danced in New York, Paris, etc.'
A few seconds pass.
'Come again?'
'There's a guy on the phone wanting to know if we'd like to hire him as our resident tap dancer. Apparently he's tap danced in New York, Paris, etc,' repeats Amy.
'What as? A drunk customer?' I ask. Amy shrugs. 'He called last week. I just forgot to tell you.'
'Because it's a weekly occurrence I suppose,' I reply.
I pick up the receiver. 'Hi.'
'Yes.'
Pause.
'So.....you're the tap dancer.'
'Hi.'
Another pause.
'Your name is.....?'
'Hi.'
'Got it. Hi the tap dancer.'
Hi then proceeds to tell me in his accented English ( Possibly a Thai accent. It seemed to be an accent that has said words like "Tom Yum Koong" many times) that he has been travelling around the world strutting his stuff. Would there be any work available?
I think it'd be wrong not to hire the guy. For a trial at least. 'Look Hi, it's an untapped market ( Oh, I get it. The guy who writes this blog is an idiot). But let me make a solemn promise to you that I will do my utmost to sell this idea to the owner. There will have to be a trial shift and believe me when I say this; I will invite everyone who I've ever met to join us that night.'
I hang up. An image of a Thai tap dancer fills my mind. He's in a pit, dancing to the sounds of a jazz band while the customers throw beer bottles and shout things like; 'It rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!' while Hi, bewildered by the cruelty of the patrons, will keep dancing and imagine he is somewhere far, far away.
Shake it like a Polaroid picture,
Fatman
(Three Days Before Eviction)
A few seconds pass.
'Come again?'
'There's a guy on the phone wanting to know if we'd like to hire him as our resident tap dancer. Apparently he's tap danced in New York, Paris, etc,' repeats Amy.
'What as? A drunk customer?' I ask. Amy shrugs. 'He called last week. I just forgot to tell you.'
'Because it's a weekly occurrence I suppose,' I reply.
I pick up the receiver. 'Hi.'
'Yes.'
Pause.
'So.....you're the tap dancer.'
'Hi.'
Another pause.
'Your name is.....?'
'Hi.'
'Got it. Hi the tap dancer.'
Hi then proceeds to tell me in his accented English ( Possibly a Thai accent. It seemed to be an accent that has said words like "Tom Yum Koong" many times) that he has been travelling around the world strutting his stuff. Would there be any work available?
I think it'd be wrong not to hire the guy. For a trial at least. 'Look Hi, it's an untapped market ( Oh, I get it. The guy who writes this blog is an idiot). But let me make a solemn promise to you that I will do my utmost to sell this idea to the owner. There will have to be a trial shift and believe me when I say this; I will invite everyone who I've ever met to join us that night.'
I hang up. An image of a Thai tap dancer fills my mind. He's in a pit, dancing to the sounds of a jazz band while the customers throw beer bottles and shout things like; 'It rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!' while Hi, bewildered by the cruelty of the patrons, will keep dancing and imagine he is somewhere far, far away.
Shake it like a Polaroid picture,
Fatman
(Three Days Before Eviction)
posted by Fatman | 6:53 pm
2 Comments:
Wow. I'd pay to see the tap dancing/throwing beer thing. In fact, I think I have, the lase time I was on a Bangkok sex tour.
Yah. I forgot to ask the all-too-important question of weather he can pop a ping pong ball out of his anus whilst in the middle of a pirouette spin. Paddle step, Paddle step (pop) and turn and...etc.
Post a Comment
<< Home