fatman Find the clues!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

For those who pronounce it 'Double-U Double-U Too'

Day 6-

How badly is Slow Rot Boogie going Fatman?


That's right, Nazi bad. The most over-worked, over-used cliched villains, topping even ninjas as the all-time most predictable baddies. The wearers of monocles with the likes of the peanut guy or Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot, John Wayne-fodder, smokers of cigarettes using thumb and forefinger and the reasons many Germans switch the topic of conversation anytime you mention world history from 1939-45.

I Klink you know vat I'm talking about

Billy fell through the ventillation shaft and into the room below...and was horrified at his discovery. What was this dungeon? Could this really be the den of kindly old Hank West? Swastikas adorned the walls, war memorabillia displayed in glass cases and there was a life-sized bronze statue of der Fuhrer in the middle of the room.
'So...you have found me out Billy.' came the lizard voice of "Hank West" from the gloom.
Billy spun around. There was Hank, dressed head-to-toe in full Nazi uniform and in his hand was a well-oiled Luger 'You've been schticking your nose vere it dosn't belong Billy,' spat Hank, his Mid-Western twang falling at the seams, betraying a heavy German accent drenched in hatred that seemed almost eager to emerge, like an animal that had been caged for far too long, 'und now I am afraid zere vill be a price.'
Nazis, thought Billy, I hate Nazis.

Excerpt from Slow Rot Boogie-a work in progress

Now, I love Mike Mignola's Hellboy, but every issue is about Nazis, demons and a monkey. That's great for Mike. I still buy every issue even though I could be spending money on food. I actually own a copy of The Occult Roots of Nazism by Nicholas Goodrick-Clarke. It still feels somewhat...wrong to use Nazis, even as a parody. I'd be jumping the shark before the third chapter, if one can actually do that with unpublished, unheard of material.

Day 7- Woke up hungover. I look through my 'dialled numbers' function of my mobile phone.

19:30:08- Free Beer: Call because I'm bored at a bar, drinking alone. He's home and doesn't want to go anywhere. Lunch is organized for Tuesday.
20:05:06- Sara: Call to catch up next week. No reply.
20:23:34- Harry: 'C'mon to the bar Harry. There's wimmen!'
21:50:03- Zoe: No Recollection.
21:50:37- Matt Sleaze: Vague Recollection. Something about catching up next week.
21:52:56- Rahu: Call to apologies for ignoring him (He came to the bar I was in for a drink or two after work. Left a half hour later) while I tried to pick up two girls from around 20:23:34 till present. I kept chatting away to these girls and didn't once attempt to include him in the conversation.
22:18:06- Dean: No Recollection.
22:20:03- Marcus: No Recollection. Haven't spoken in three months.
22:21:21- B.J.: No Recollection. Dread what conversation might have happened.
23:19:27- Moylan: Who the f....?

'I remember nuthin'!'
Me having a few quiet beers the night before. Fatman: Alcoholic or misunderstood genius?*

Depriving a Village of an Idiot,

* Note: This isn't ACTUALLY me. Stella Artois isn't my usual cup of beer.


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