Don't Drop That Bagel!
We nod in agreement.
'Make sure you get some in my beard as well.' offers the derelict.
We stare at his blackened face.
He stares back.
The sky threatens rain but doesn't.
It's called the 'Fifteen in Fifteen Film Competition' or 15/15 and the basics of it is that you have to make a 15 minute film in 15 hours. It can be an animation or a documentary or whatever as long as you get everything done- the shooting, editing, etc.-in the allotted 15 hour time. To make sure that no one cheats the organisers ask the film makers to put in a secret object (which has to be in 85% of the shots) and a quote which is revealed on the day of the competition.
Why I got involved in this, the competition, the smearing hummus on the homeless guy (I suspect he was an actor playing a homeless person. Maybe), was due to the serendipitous chain of events that had me bump into Evan in Listvyanka (a remote town in Russia that overlooks the famous Lake Baikal where the townsfolk still use goats as lawn mowers) during my Trans-Siberian Railway journey of last year. When he and Kes (the director/ incredibly tall Kurgan look-a-like) were discussing potential candidates for the oh-so-crucial 'Don't Drop that Bagel!'-guy for the 15/15 competition my name happened to leak into the conversation. I suspect the conversation went along the lines of this:
Evan: Let me get this straight. We have all the main characters, locations have been approved, props have been made...BUT WE STILL DON'T HAVE THE BAGEL GUY?
Kes: It's a hard role to fill.
Evan: I'll say.
Kes: (looking all Kurgany) For me, the whole crux of the film relies on this one guy. This one person to point out the struggle between the two main characters and their struggle to keep the bagel aloft...
Even:...while they wrestle intense emotions and even gravity that threatens to wrench the bagel from them.
Kes: He's almost a Cassandra-like figure. Someone who can see the future, the dangers that will befall our heroes due to this one instance. The domino effect that will change the fate of nations. But alas his warnings are seldom heeded.
Even: (Deep silence as his synapses briefly overload)
Kes: What is it?
Kes: What man? Speak! Are you choking on something? (Moves to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre)
Even: I got it. I know who can...I know who can....
'You want me to say what?'
'Don't drop that bagel!' they say in unison.
'Don't drop that bagel?'
'See?' says Evan with a smug grin. 'Perfect...my God...that was so perfect.' admits Kes, awed at my performance.