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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Grappling Hook, Line and Sinker

Title:How We Spent Last Sunday or
Pirates Ruin Regurgitator's "Band In The Bubble"Experiment
by Fatman

Gather Ye 'round landlubbers and let me be tellingyou a tale- a tale of black hearted buccaneers, an over-consumption o' grog....and parrots. It began about two weeks ago when Free Beer made one of his ever increasing impromptu visits to the bar. 'It's that time of year again, ‘he began without any preamble 'It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day .'.Back in the carefree, heady days of 1995 two Raquetballers- Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers and John"Ol' Chumbucket" Baur invented the day after, so legend has it, one of them was struck by a ball and screamed 'Arrrrr.' They kept the pirate banter up for the rest of the day and decided to make it an annual event. And so it goes that the 19th of September the select few are given a license to be idiots. Not even the costume shop lady who sold me my booty (eye-patch, hats, plastic axe, ball-and-chain) knew about the event. There is a great amount of fun to be had. When one is dressed as a pirate the world notices. People in cars yell 'Ahoy thar!' or 'Arrrrrr!' in encouragement. Beggars are puzzled;
Homeless girl: Could I bother you guy for some...(notices the pirate attire)?
Me: Begone from ourrrr sight ye urchin! We be doin'the taking and we don't share our plunders with thelikes of ye!
And those who tend to be less fortunate for the rest of the year suddenly feel a lot better about themselves, like the wizened, schizophrenic old guy at the "Lord of the Rings" pinball machine who kept spluttering beer and chuckling to himself 'Pirates.Heee Heee. Pirates. Pirates. Hee Hee.' As for the 'Gurrrge- Captain BUNGHOLE (Marto- 'Stop calling me Bunghole guys. Oh, that's it. I don't wannabe a pirate anymore!'), Cutthroat Bob (Miko), CaptainMorgan (Free Beer-who had to replace his hand for a hook after a breakdancing accident), Crackers (FreeBeer's parrot that was attached to his shoulder. FreeBeer had an annoying habit of trying to feed it beer and make it mutter things like; 'Squuak! Fatman is an imbecile! Squuak!') and yours truly were banging on the glass where Regurgitator were recording a new C.D. at Federation Square, Victoria. The gist of their thing(for those who are unaware) is to keep the band in a place where all the hoi polloi can see for 21 days andat the end of it they have a new album. We were spotted by security who, instead of calling the cops, got some announcer chick and camera people to do an interview.
Full Transcripts available in exchange for pieces o'eight.

(trans: I'm keel hauling my ar.se out of here),


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