Please Tell Me I've Been Dining On Poisoned Fish
From Practical Fish Keeping, April 19th 2006
Everyone has a different way of conquering writer's block. Apparently the German poet and philosopher Friedrich von Schiller could only concentrate on work with his feet on a block of ice and inhaling the fumes of rotten apples. But then again that might just have been a German thing. Others approach writer's block by writing about writer's block. Which seems idiotic and annoying. My personal approach is to...
a) Look at Elisha Cuthbert images on the internet.
b) Stare blankly at the screen while George W. Bush's corpse falls endlessly down an impossible landscape of bubbles, his dead, bovine eyes staring into oblivion (Thanks J.J.Botts for that screensaver. Does it come in John Howard?)
c) Read things.
Ultimately I think reading things is the best way. The more you read the more you want to write and the more you write the more you want to read. When I can't be bothered actually reading books (always) I turn to fellow bloggers because it's cheaper and they tend to have normal lives (except for lion tamers and bomb disposal experts)that is fun to read about. Some of the people I read are great but they only update once a month (I'm staring directly at you Yawn when I say this). Some I have just discovered exist today( Again, I had no idea Broadzilla). But the blog I turn to on a daily basis would have been the 16mm Shrine.
Which I find out is now closing shop indefinitely.
The movie review blog from Hell, I'd read this before, I-shit-you-not, my own emails because I knew it'd be more amusing than most things my friends would send me (Penis Enlargements? No thanks). I can honestly say that the 16mm Shrine made me want to be a better writer. And it gave me a good place to unleash all my dead prostitute jokes that I keep to myself. I'll bid Ash a fond adieu and plonk a Bill Hicks quote right at the end of this post that probably sums up how he may be feeling:
"Well folks, this is a sentimental evening for me -- this is my final live performance. The last I'll ever do ever. No biggie, no hard feelings, no sour grapes whatsoever. I've been doing this every day for sixteen years and I enjoyed every second of it. Every plane flight. Every delay. Every cancelled flight. Every lost lost luggage. Living in hotel rooms. Every broken relationship. Playing the Comedy Pouch in Possum Ridge Arkansas every fuckin' year- it's been great. Don't get me wrong. I'm just very tired, very tired of doing comedy, very tired of seeing your vacant faces staring back at me wanting me to fill your empty lives with humour you couldn't possibly think of yourselves."
You don't just wake up with a body like this,